Wednesday, 9 January 2013


Culled from: MSN SPORTS

1. Messi never reacts to fouls
Not for Lionel the lash-out in retaliation or the seeking of retribution. If an opposition defender drove a tank onto the pitch and tried to mow Messi down, he’d probably just dive out of the way, get up again and take the free kick. He’s serene, like a mini-Buddha. Thinking about it, Pepe probably hasn’t ruled out a tank for the next clasico. Watch out, Leo.

2. He isn't addicted to Twitter
Social media obviously doesn’t interest our man. He has an official Twitter page, but it’s clearly not run by him and all it seems to do is retweet official Barcelona tweets about Pep Guardiola. Where are the inter-player feuds, man? Come on, get a grip. Give us something.

3. Messi's too loyal
Seriously, what is the point of football if its main protagonists aren’t going to make eyes at other clubs every January and August? Messi has never even considered moving to another club and probably still sleeps in the FC Barcelona duvet he first had at La Masia. Pathetic. 

4. He's a team player
Messi may be the best player in the world, but he’s also undoubtedly a team player. He gets on well with all his teammates and it’s hard to find an opposition player with a bad word to say about him. Where are the Ronaldo-esque tantrums? Where’s the pouting when he misses a chance? Stop being so REASONABLE.

5. Messi is easy to manage
The diminutive Argentine is a dream to manage and performs whatever role is asked of him without a fuss. This is unacceptable. He needs to start arguing back, chipping off in press conferences (which makes for easy copy) and storming out of mixed zones. Then we’d be getting somewhere.

6. Messi is a happy drunk who only drinks occasionally
Lionel only drinks on special occasions when appropriate. When Barcelona won the treble in 2009, he appeared on the team bus during the parade, drunk as a lord but in a good-natured way. Again, this is all so reasonable. When is he going to start breaking curfews and drinking the night before a game? Where are the fights? Has he learnt nothing from Wayne Rooney?

7. He scores too many goals
Seriously, it’s so dull. Journalists all around the world covering Barcelona games just write the same thing over and over again every single time. It goes something like this: ‘...running out of superlatives to describe the Barcelona number 10.’ Can’t he just go on a barren run? Just once?

8. Messi has gained popularity in Argentina
There used to be some easy copy in writing about how our man wasn’t as loved in Argentina as he was in Europe, but that’s gone out the window as well. He’s had a great year at international level and now just about everyone across the South Atlantic loves him. Annoying.

9. He's had his hair cut
The man’s even got a sensible haircut these days. A couple of years ago when he was rocking the flowing locks, he looked a bit like he was in an indie band with Zlatan and Carles Puyol. Not any more. That was obviously far too dangerous for him. Short(ish) back and sides, please.

10. Messi is an athlete
If all this wasn’t enough, he appears to take his fitness and general athleticism seriously too. He hasn’t got an iota of fat on him. Again, boring. Where’s the off-season beer belly? Why so many rippling muscles? It just makes us all feel inadequate. Is that what you want, Leo? Is it? Why do you hate us so much?

But Messi is no doubt the World's Best Player....


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