Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Humor: Things Nigerians Are Fond of. (Part Two)

4.   Other People’s Business; Most Nigerian women spend at least 50% of their free time on the phone gossiping (no offence) and what do they really talk about? Other people. Who fits into this category of “other people”? No one is off limits as the subject of conversation – relatives, family friends, colleagues, neighbours, other people’s babies – basically anyone who has ever interacted with this Nigerian person is fair game. There’s never a dull moment when talking to a Nigerian because there’s always something to talk about. Yes, even topics that do not and will not ever concern you are debated for hours and hours.

5.       If it’s not Loud, It’s Not Nigerian!; if you visit a Nigerian church for the first time, you may mistake the Praise & Worship for an early morning yell session. It seems like Nigerians love singing these songs at the top of their lungs, heart, rib cage, throat, etc…. Please don’t let this frighten you, Nigerians love projecting their voices. If it’s not loud, it’s not Nigerian!!!!
Has it ever occurred to you that our parents, uncles, and aunts love to make sure their voices are higher than anyone else’s within a half mile radius? Well, this may become a problem when this turns into a competition. Nigerian’s know that whoever has the loudest argument must have the best argument, therefore; they win. Whether it’s speaking to your elementary school teacher, talking on the phone to a best friend, or singing praise songs in church…Nigerians take pride in having the loudest voice
Keep in mind; the same people that love screaming are also the same ones that coined the phrase “Don’t shout on me!”

6.  Pointing With their Lips; People tend to point at things with their fingers, I mean, it only makes sense. However, Nigerians have created their own way of pointing. It is well known that many Nigerians have been blessed with full, plump lips. However, who would have thought that these pepper soup coolers could be used to POINT??? If you are Nigerian, you have probably witnessed your parents, aunties, uncles, etc. use their lips to point to something. That “something”, which they may refer to as “dis tin‘” is probably within their arms reach, but that’s another story. A Nigerian father who wants a pen on the desk may turn his head towards the desk, say “get me dat tin,” and poke out his lips towards the pen. You think it would be simple enough to just say “get me the pen,” but Nigerians are efficient people. Why waste energy using your voice or silly fingers, when God has blessed our people with ample lips to do the job!


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Iweanya Victor is an Entrepreneur and a Blogger
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